im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize