it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
