you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
