You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
