So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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