Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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