no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
