she was so not down for the gang bang
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
