doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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