i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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