yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
