Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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