i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
