her vagine was all disorganized.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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