I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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