It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
