It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
