Just cropdusted the office
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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