pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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