***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
