It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
