It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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