Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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