my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize