I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
