Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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