I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
