No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
