Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
as a side note pls kill me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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