I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
