The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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