We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
