Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
