He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
