If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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