The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize