around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
