Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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