So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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