imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
