i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize