his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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