Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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