I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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