so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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