Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
