I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
