we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
