How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
