She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
