You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
