I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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