I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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