You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
