Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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