if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize