So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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