I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
